DeMarye's Soapbox

So I learned today how easy it is to forget how to give selflessly. Two nights ago I agreed to watch my sister’s kid’s last minute. After which I found out that Jesse had wanted me to go to his work that night, his last night and say goodbye to everyone there. I had to call Jesse and tell him I couldn’t bring the baby in because I had agreed to watch the kid’s and couldn’t very well bring all 3 of them with the baby down to the store…my sister’s kids have a reputation for being unruly… , so after a long night of watching them, and being told they would be around to pick them up at 10:00 pm and not showing up until 11:30, I finally was able to rest and relax. They weren’t that bad but I told my sister next time to give me more then 2-3 hours notice if they plan on going out again. I like having a heads up. She said fine.

So tonight, a night in advance, Jesse calls my sister to ask if she can watch Kaylen at 8:00 tomorrow and she tells him her and her hubby made plans to go golfing. So long story short, I have to call into work tomorrow and hope I can use my 7 hours vacation time and make up the 8th hour by working extra time this week, so I can cover the time Jesse has for orientation at Target. Lets hope that Jesse is able to give me an idea what his work schedule looks like for the week so I can let my sister know… that way no more scheduling mishaps happen again… argh… I am seriously thinking about placing Kay in an infant care center during the day, it might be easier.

Posted by DeMarye at 7:49 AM | Permalink | Comments

You know it’s bad when the people around you don’t notice you’re a little on the depressed side. I don’t know what is going on with me but I find it really hard to get up in the morning and during my work week I feel guilty of leaving Kaylen when I have to go to work. I was given Anti-Anxiety/Anti-depressant medication after I had Kay because the doctors felt I was showing some signs of postpartum depression and with a history of anxiety they didn’t want to chance it. So now they have me on “Celexa”, a low dose, and although I can tell when I don’t take the pill, when I do I don’t feel like its helping much. I know I need to contact my doctor… I just hate the hoops they make me jump through

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Yesterday was one of our first family days out in a long time. Jesse and I took Kaylen to the CA state Fair and it was fun. Kay got crabby, but that was because she refused to go to take her nap, but I don’t blame her, with all that noise and all the sounds, she was very excited and most likely didn’t want to miss anything. We won her this huge baby Betty boop doll, it’s about her size and she absolutely loved it… laughing like crazy whenever she saw it. I had a pretty good time, I did get irritated a bit, between having to maneuver a stroller through a crowd of people who seemed to be looking at everything, but were blind to anything in a stroller or wheelchair, or the occasional group of people who looked like they were trying to get out of the crowd then stopped abruptly in the middle of the walkway making it impossible for anyone to pass them. I don’t even know why I bother going out anymore, it’s like I am permanently irritated by stupid people.

I wish I knew what is going on with me

Posted by DeMarye at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments