DeMarye's Soapbox

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Posted by DeMarye at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments

Spammers alike... Please don't leave comments on my blog. I hate SPAMMERS!!!!!!!

Posted by DeMarye at 6:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

So I learned today how easy it is to forget how to give selflessly. Two nights ago I agreed to watch my sister’s kid’s last minute. After which I found out that Jesse had wanted me to go to his work that night, his last night and say goodbye to everyone there. I had to call Jesse and tell him I couldn’t bring the baby in because I had agreed to watch the kid’s and couldn’t very well bring all 3 of them with the baby down to the store…my sister’s kids have a reputation for being unruly… , so after a long night of watching them, and being told they would be around to pick them up at 10:00 pm and not showing up until 11:30, I finally was able to rest and relax. They weren’t that bad but I told my sister next time to give me more then 2-3 hours notice if they plan on going out again. I like having a heads up. She said fine.

So tonight, a night in advance, Jesse calls my sister to ask if she can watch Kaylen at 8:00 tomorrow and she tells him her and her hubby made plans to go golfing. So long story short, I have to call into work tomorrow and hope I can use my 7 hours vacation time and make up the 8th hour by working extra time this week, so I can cover the time Jesse has for orientation at Target. Lets hope that Jesse is able to give me an idea what his work schedule looks like for the week so I can let my sister know… that way no more scheduling mishaps happen again… argh… I am seriously thinking about placing Kay in an infant care center during the day, it might be easier.

Posted by DeMarye at 7:49 AM | Permalink | Comments

You know it’s bad when the people around you don’t notice you’re a little on the depressed side. I don’t know what is going on with me but I find it really hard to get up in the morning and during my work week I feel guilty of leaving Kaylen when I have to go to work. I was given Anti-Anxiety/Anti-depressant medication after I had Kay because the doctors felt I was showing some signs of postpartum depression and with a history of anxiety they didn’t want to chance it. So now they have me on “Celexa”, a low dose, and although I can tell when I don’t take the pill, when I do I don’t feel like its helping much. I know I need to contact my doctor… I just hate the hoops they make me jump through

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Yesterday was one of our first family days out in a long time. Jesse and I took Kaylen to the CA state Fair and it was fun. Kay got crabby, but that was because she refused to go to take her nap, but I don’t blame her, with all that noise and all the sounds, she was very excited and most likely didn’t want to miss anything. We won her this huge baby Betty boop doll, it’s about her size and she absolutely loved it… laughing like crazy whenever she saw it. I had a pretty good time, I did get irritated a bit, between having to maneuver a stroller through a crowd of people who seemed to be looking at everything, but were blind to anything in a stroller or wheelchair, or the occasional group of people who looked like they were trying to get out of the crowd then stopped abruptly in the middle of the walkway making it impossible for anyone to pass them. I don’t even know why I bother going out anymore, it’s like I am permanently irritated by stupid people.

I wish I knew what is going on with me

Posted by DeMarye at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments

Have you ever felt like someone who is supposed to be your family betrayed you? I know this is stupid and most likely a waste of my time to even type but it if it is on my mind then it’s always a good idea to type it out of there.

Here’s the story: My sister and I planned a doggie exchange, my dog Pyper (a Jack Russell/ Beagle mix) in exchange for her dog Molly (a Australian Shepherd Mix). You see, Pyper was given to my by my uncle, after getting her we found out that she had been shifted from family to family and no one wanted her. In an attempt to provide her with a loving home, I took her in and tried to work with her the best I could. After4 months of trying to correct her of her bad habits, I was unable to do so. She would try to steal food from people when they weren’t looking, she would get out of the yard several times a week (pretty much once a day) and we would have to pick her up from one of our neighbors. Her only saving grace was that she is house broken and always mindful of the baby. Well it got to the point where Jesse started to express his dislike for the dog, so I decided to talk to my sister about a switch-off between pets. Molly wasn’t getting the right king of attention and since my house seemed mellower and low key I figured Molly would like it better with us; Pyper (who loves excitement) would love living with them and enjoy being around the kids. So I discussed it with my sister. She said she would talk it over with her husband and see if it was ok. A week went by and I finally talked to my brother-in-law about the idea. He seemed more then ok with it with the understanding that if it didn’t work out we would bring Molly back to them, as the same with Pyper. So Friday I handed Pyper over to my sister and when I went to pick up my daughter, I figured I would be able to bring Molly home with me, boy was I ever wrong.

When I got to her house, I unloaded all of Pyper’s belongings. I went inside and gathered the baby up and went to ask my sister if it would be ok if I took Molly that day. My sister made a remark about, “well, I figured I would give you the weekend off.” I said that I didn’t mind and that I was planning on taking Molly to the Dog Park the next day. My sister then said, “oh well you can take her for the weekend if you want.” I was confused, if I was trading dogs why would I only want Molly for the weekend. I t occurred to me that maybe we weren’t on the right page so I said to her that I could keep her longer then the weekend, I was sure she would be fine at my house and there would be no problems. That’s when she said, “Oh, I never told you could have her. I gave her to Jason a week ago.” WHAT! I though we were going to exchange dogs. Sam had said everything was good to go, and no my sister tells me she promised the dog to this homeless guy. Jason, who is temporarily staying with her while her house is being worked on. WTF. I told her, that Sam said everything was fine and she said “Well, Molly’s not Sam’s dog and he has not right to give her to me”.

By then I had it with her. She lead me on to think I was going to get to take Molly, Jesse was under the same impression. Obviously Her Husband Sam thought we were exchanging Dogs, what gives? I didn’t know what to think so I just packed my car and got ready to go home. My sister said I could take Pyper back but I couldn’t bring myself into taking her away from my niece and nephews, they already got attached to her, in the short time she was with them, so I let her stay with them and took Kaylen home.

I just don’t understand why my sister felt she had to manipulate me like that and then say I lied and she never told me I could take Molly.

I am beginning to wonder what is wrong with my sister. Everything seems to be lies with her, as long as she believes its true then it is in her head.


She makes it hard for people to be there for her and to love her. I am just so frustrated and mad at her right now.

I feel betrayed.

Posted by DeMarye at 11:24 AM | Permalink | Comments

Blogging on paper, that's what I am reduced to doing during the day. The other day I was warned by my boss that the IT people at my work monitor internet activity, so that means no more blogger at work. :-(

I guess I can live, however, when I have the urge to write I have to do so or else I will loose my train of thought. So in an attempt to retain my thoughts I am pretty much drafting a blog at work on a pad of paper which eventually will be transferred to its current home on blogger.com. I really just need to stop thinking of things about my personal life while at work... I wonder if my brain has an off switch that turns me into a mindless paper pushing drone...*L* J/K, my job is not that bad

I really do hate having an over active mind, it makes functioning like a "normal" person very difficult to do.

Posted by DeMarye at 9:32 PM | Permalink | Comments

Things seem to be going better today, but then again I have only been up for 40 minutes...lol. Some mornings I wish I could just stay snuggled up in my bed with no worries, but that never happens. I think I am going to ask Jesse if he will take over saturday and get up with the baby so I can sleep in for once , I know I could use a couple guilt free hours of sleep.

I am soooo tired... this sucks... oh well time to get ready for work.

Posted by DeMarye at 7:13 AM | Permalink | Comments